Sleep

It's been a long time in coming, but she's doing it!  She's really doing it!

SHE'S GOING TO SLEEP ON HER OWN!!!

Hallelujah!

Flash-back two years:  Before Ava was even born, we (well, maybe more I) decided that we were more Sears than Ezzo parents, and this draw on my heart was confirmed when I met my little girl's big personality. Don't get me wrong, she wasn't the hardest baby, but she wasn't the easiest either, especially when it came to sleep.  Added to this was the aspect of her personality that is very sensitive and compliant, and we decided that the cry it out sleep training method wasn't for us, as a family.

We wanted to train her to sleep; just not that way. But in those early days, especially, when she was up every hour - or more - it was hard.  Really hard.

We did what it took.  Fortunately I have a wonderful husband who works hard and we're blessed enough for me to stay home with Ava, which makes getting up 15 times between the hours of 8pm and 6am somewhat possible.  We bounced; we paced; we nursed; we rocked; we rubbed her back; we laid down to "start her out" to sleep.  She stayed in a co-sleeper until five months old.  We drove her to sleep for naps.  Heck, she slept exclusively in the garage (in the car) for naps for the first 10 months of her life.  We transitioned her out of her crib, which she never really liked and into a toddler bed shortly after her first birthday and I've spent MANY a night sleeping on that little mattress rather than cuddled up in my own bed.

Here she is at a couple weeks old in the standard position (read: place, notice the Cal King bed) in which she slept for many, many nights over the last almost-two-years.


But it got better.  She gradually slept slightly longer stretches and one day I realized that the fog was lifting and I was only getting up a couple times a night.   Around 15 months, when I stopped night nursing, she began to sleep fairly consistently through the night. When I stopped nursing all together, at 18 months,  she began to sleep even better, and to sleep in in the morning to the decent hour of 6ish.

We parented at night for many of the reasons mentioned here, and I will honestly say that the points here I experienced in real time.  I know that the different styles of parenting - especially nighttime parenting - can be soft spots for many parents, especially those in the trenches of sleep deprivation, so all this is only to say that we did what we believed was right in our heart for our little girl, just like every parent does.

Well, here we are today, nearly two years later, and for the last four nights we've done our bedtime routine (bath, jammies, book, prayers, bible verse) and left the room saying we'll be back and she's fallen asleep. On her own.  For the first time. Ever.  In two years.

This is monumental for us, especially seeing that lately her bedtime routine has taken anywhere from an hour to sometimes two.  It's draining, and it didn't leave us much time for each other, either.  I knew there was a light somewhere at the end of the tunnel, and everything I read and everyone I talked to with a child like mine said that some time - many times around the age of two - they're just magically ready to sleep. I couldn't imagine that happening to Ava.  But it is, and I think it's going to stick, because I think she's ready. We've gotten her secure enough to be okay drifting off to sleep in the dark alone, which was our goal all along.

I wish I could tell sleep deprived parents everywhere, and go back and remind myself when I started to doubt our philosophy on the way we wanted to sleep train her: the way it is is not the way it will always be.  Doesn't this go for everything in life?  My daughter will not always need to be soothed to sleep; she will not always need me to wash her hands or dress her; she will not always throw a fit every time she sees the inside of a grocery store; she will not always love Disney Princesses and  have a crush on Mickey Mouse; she will not always want to be cuddled, or held, or consoled; she will not always need me like she needs me now; she will not always be little.  So for now, even though we may have had a breakthrough on the sleep front, we're still embracing the chorus to this song for all the parental trials that are bound to come our way:

So let them be little,
'Cause they're only that way for a while.
Give 'em hope, give them praise,
Give them love every day.
Let 'em cry, let 'em giggle,
Let 'em sleep in the middle,
Oh, but let them be little.